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Janice Gill, MSW, RSW, RYT(200)

Janice Gill, MSW, RSW, RYT(200)

Recent Posts

A letter to my 20 year-old self… February 24, 2019
On bed-making: Lessons from the Swiss October 23, 2018
On Feeling Your Feelings October 22, 2018
Feel Your Feelings October 22, 2018
On making conscious choices: What do you mean you don’t eat avocados? October 21, 2018

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Every single one of us has absolutely everything we need to heal and to know. Some of us have just become blocked or disconnected from that knowing. Blocked by past conditioning, which created faulty, rigid beliefs. Blocked by nervous system activation, and our body’s inability to make space for anything other than survival. Blocked by oppressive social systems and discourses that tell us who and how we ought to be and how we ought to be treated in light of who we show up as. And blocked by the remnants of intergenerational and ancestral trauma. You have everything you need right inside of you. It’s right there. Possibly buried in the depths of your soul but it’s there. When you feel the call to healing, awakening, and consciousness; you will know. You will reach a point when you may not know what else is possible but you simply cannot go on another day, living the way you’ve been living. With all of that wisdom and goodness and purpose and meaning, buried deep, begging to come to the surface. It will be time for an archeological dig of sorts, and you might not know where to begin. This is when you may choose to summon the collective efforts and co-regulation of an outside guide or support. One who will not give you all of the answers but rather, hold a safe space, and help you peel back the layers in order to be able to find your way back to your own inner knowing. Your guru. Maybe you call that intuition. Maybe you call that God, Source, Universe, Atman. This is the work. This is the journey. ✨💗

Whether we like what is going on in and around us or not. Mindful awareness is a practice that involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Cultivating presence in our lives enables us to be happier, healthier, and kinder to ourselves and others. (@drdansiegel ) We can strengthen our capacity for presence through regular "mental hygiene." Just as we (hopefully) practice regular dental hygiene! Our mental hygiene routine doesn’t need to be lengthy or complicated. It just needs to be regular. It involves training the mind to strengthen focal attention, open our awareness, and cultivate kind intention. We may choose to use the breath as our focal point—bringing our awareness back to our inhales and exhales each time our awareness wanders elsewhere (which it WILL; That is what the mind does) Being kind to ourselves during this process is fundamental, as is sticking with it! Remember that it is a PRACTICE. When you feel your mind trying to talk you out of its importance (mine STILL plays this trick on me sometimes, and would much rather be mindlessly distracted or satiated with something stimulating or delicious!), gently remind yourself that you are cultivating presence to cultivate greater health, happiness, and relational satisfaction in your life. Keep observing, non-judgementally, allowing thoughts and sensations to ebb and flow, and bring yourself back to that focal point. Mine, for a while now, has been the mantra “I am loving awareness,” inspired by the wonderful @babaramdass ✨🙏🏼 Sharing this with you, following a beautiful meditation I did on my balcony this morning, where all I could hear was the sound of the birds... and my cat intermittently scratching at the door in desperation to come out with me. 😹

I once worked with a young boy, who had been through quite a bit of trauma. While in my office for a session one day, he accidentally knocked some figurine or something off of my shelf (I can’t even remember what it was now). After it shattered on the floor, he turned around and faced the wall, his face promptly became scarlet red and I knew right away Shame had entered the building. His caregiver was adamant about him apologizing to me, and he was pretending to ignore her and proceeded to giggle in the corner, every once in a while glancing over at me to check in with these sad, puppy-dog-looking eyes. I could feel him trying to evaluate my stance on the incident. Actually, more accurately, evaluating my stance on HIM. Underneath that laughter, he was peering into my soul, trying to determine if I was upset, which would inevitably determine if he was still lovable. I let the caregiver know that I understood an apology was something that was important for her in that moment, and wondered if we could put it on hold just for a moment and be curious about what might’ve been going on for little “Johnny.” (My students think it’s funny that I always use the name Johnny. I clearly need to get more creative. And racially diverse). I started having a pretend side conversation with Mom: “I know the laughter might make it seem like Johnny thinks it’s funny... but I’m wondering if the hiding in the corner might be telling us something else? I wonder if Johnny actually feels so bad about that accident, and that his feelings are so big right now, that they’re making him feel like he has to face the wall because it would be hard to look at us? I wonder if he thinks I might be upset with him?” Johnny looked at me, intently. I could tell he was taking in the words. Reading my face. The laughter paused. While I had his gaze, I softly wondered aloud, “Johnny, I’m wondering if you’re feeling really bad about accidentally knocking my figurine off the shelf?” His head dropped, he nodded. Shame. Shame. Shame. It was so big. It was palpable. I just wanted to hug this boy but instead, I wondered if Mom could hold him while we talked a little more about this really hard thing..cont’d👇

If you were bullied, humiliated, chronically shamed or alienated as a young person, the thought of any situation that could even remotely lend itself to a fraction of the impact of that past experience, will bring up the same old uncomfortable, possibly even terrifying, sensations in the body. For example, the intense present-day fear of speaking up or being seen. It’s not the speaking up or being seen in and of itself that is terrifying; it is the sensations and emotions in the body that arise around those things that is terrifying. These sensations trigger the alarm bells and lead to subsequent unhelpful and usually untrue and mostly catastrophic thoughts about the thing that is about to happen in the present, based on experiences of the seemingly similar thing that happened in the past. ✨

An important affirmation for your striving, grieving, inner child. The one who has yearned their entire lives to hear these words but instead, perhaps, got the message—whether real or perceived—that in fact, love was conditional. It was not okay to fail, make a mistake, mess up, trip up, get upset, or fall. Maybe because a parent was unwell or maybe because the Shame they carried with them from their own growing-up trickled down onto you, and any imperfection you may have exhibited, which, in their eyes, reflected on them as a parent(s). Therefore, you had to be good. You had to be great. Maybe even perfect. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, and however you’re feeling, it’s okay, sweetheart. You are loved no matter what. Just the way you are. You can make as many mistakes as you need to, and you are still loved. You can wear what you want, work how you want, love who you love, say what you need, and feel what you feel, and, still, No. Matter. What. You are loved through and through. 💗

It’s a beautiful morning. The air feels fresher. The sky seems brighter. I’m standing in line at the bank. Not a regular line. A weird, outside, spaced-out line, with a security guard in a vest, corralling people like sheep, as they attempt to get to their source of survival. He’s smoking a cigarette and chatting up the first person in line. He notices the man’s hat, and asks if he “still works for the fire department.” It feels like he’s talking about things from before. One person enters the line, wearing a mask. Nobody bats an eye. “Have you been out of the country in the last 14 days?” A question that has quickly become part of our new normal. Along with citizens, clad in personal protective gear, like gloves, and masks and such. I enter the bank. There is a sterility, yet simultaneous lightness that abounds. The tellers seem exceptionally friendly. Everyone is laughing and engaging in small talk and everything seems like it’s moving in slow-motion. I feel a wave of emotion. It feels like sadness because I want to cry but it also somehow feels like a strange version of joy. Like this is what my soul has been yearning for. I feel connected. To everything and everyone. Yet, here I am with my feet standing on these two yellow footprints, keeping me at an exact two-foot distance from any other human being. As people pass by, they carve a semi-circle around me, as if I’m a bad guy in a video game, that might make them explode upon contact. We’re in Canada, so of course, it’s followed with an apology, “Sorry.” Wouldn’t want any hurt feelings. As if to say, “Sorry for making you feel like some kind of pariah.” But we know it’s not personal. I know I’m not a pariah. I’m not the bad guy. It’s an unspoken understanding. The teller proceeds to enlighten me with the details of her daily hygiene practices, so as to put me at ease, as she passes me a pen. I nod, and say, “That’s okay, I get it,” so as to put her at ease, that I am not overly concerned about her hygiene. She says, “Thank you for understanding.” I shrug my shoulders, smile, and then, in unison we say “This is our new normal.” Yes, this is our new normal.

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Inside Health Clinic
2486 Old Bronte Road Suite 107

Clinic Phone: (905) 842-6654

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